Your BFF is Making You FAT
Have you ever noticed that friendships or family gatherings are usually centered around food?
There is a group of us in Louisville — we get together every Monday night, make dinner, usually have a drink or two, sometimes dessert. And, yes, we watch 24 (hence the Monday night for fans of the show).
Who would ever have thought Renee would be killed???
I digress…
Eating is social. It’s an experience.
And because of the social nature of eating, who you associate with can also cause you to gain weight. In other words, your BFF can be making you FAT!
If you’re spending too much time around other people who are overweight or obese, you are likely to gain belly fat too!
I’m not saying by simply shaking someone’s hand you’re going to instantly inheret their body; however, if you spend an appreciable amount of time with people who live an unhealthy lifestyle, it’s bound to rub off.
Here’s the deal.
As part of the now famous Framingham Heart Study, the 12,000+ subjects, were asked to provide a list of family members and one close friend. Then the patterns of weight gain over time in study participants, family, and friends were then analyzed.
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Interesting part
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When a person in the study became obese, there was a 40% increased risk their sibling would become obese too!
And for the spouse, there was a 37% increased risk.
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MOST SHOCKING RESULTS
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When your friend becomes obese, you have a 57% risk yourself!
And if your friend was of the same gender, that jumped to 71%!
Picture this — a few friends get together, eating dinner, drinking — week after week and this all adds up. Seems so silly, but it’s true.
There are some thoughts as to why this occurs.
It can be hard to say no — your friend makes her FAVORITE appetizer in the world. How can you say no? Or if someone brings over a dessert that "is to die for" you may not feel right letting it pass you by without trying some.
So aside from completely ditching your friends or setting strict guidelines for their body fat levels and making new ones in the local running club or bike team, what can you reasonably do to keep things in check?
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THE SOLUTION
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1. Spend less time doing inactive thing with friends/family. Instead, maybe suggest a local hike or going for a walk.
2. Be the leader, not the follower — suggest and bring better foods to get togethers
3. Find some new friends (or more realistically, add others to your mix) — join a local running group if you run, a biking group if you cycle, or maybe a local outdoor club. It’s a great way to meet new, like minded, active friends!
May 19th, 2010 at 9:17 am
Wow.
I can’t believe you really expect friends to break it off because one is a little bigger than the other. I hope I’m never so shallow to stop having friends that are a little heavier than me. You are furthering two stereotypes here, 1. That healthy fit people are shallow and only care about looks. and 2. That fat people don’t care about how they look and what they eat.
A real friend would encourage their friend to do something about it and even HELP them. That’s a true friend.
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Chris and Kara Mohr Reply:
May 19th, 2010 at 10:43 am
Thanks so much for the comment. My post was to talk about the research suggesting that those who you spend time with can cause weight gain. I didn’t mean it as if a friend is a bit overweight/obese you should immediately stop talking to them. I agree that we should all encourage one another — social support is everything. What’s interesting, though, from a research standpoint is that the negative influence usually outweighs, for lack of a better term, the positive influence. The goal of the post was not to stereotype anyone; it was simply regurgitating the scientific research and drawing conclusions from there. Hopefully this clarifies our message!
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May 19th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I’ve observed a corollary — when you and your friends/family are heavy and you then lose weight, friends and family often have an issue with that. Rather than being happy that you are taking better care of yourself, there often seems to be resentment and anger. I’m not sure why –maybe they feel that by adopting a different lifestyle, you are passing judgement on theirs. Or maybe it’s simply jealousy. Anyway, people who are now trying to exercise and eat better need to be aware that not everyone will be supportive of those efforts.
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May 19th, 2010 at 11:19 am
Hey Chris and Kara,
I had an interesting thing happen for Mother’s Day. My three sons came over to fix lunch for me which consisted of grilling out. My oldest son called ahead to John and asked what he should bring for me. Well he did really great with the grilled chicken but he made his own marinade which was extremely salty. But he did do vegetable kabobs with it. My oldest son announced at the table that we had a low fat side of the table and a fat filled side of the table so sit accordingly. And then to add a kicker my youngest son brought a Dairy Queen ice cream cake for dessert. My oldest son proceeded to ask John how much longer Mom was going to be on this health kick. He said when they use to come down and open the pantry it was filled with great junk food but now it looks like we are moving:) I just had to laugh and John’s response was I am sorry but I think she is in for the long haul. It is amazing when you eat less processed food how empty my pantry actually looks. But don’t get me wrong there are still things in there that eventually I need to clean out.
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May 19th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
We all choose our friends for many different reasons. Someone CAN be overweight and still be a healthy eater. Its easy to be 10-20 pounds overweight and eat mostly healthy food, but eat just a little too much of it. It only takes an extra 500 calories each day to add up to one pound of weight gain each week. That is one goopy sweet creamy coffee drink.
I think the point here is to be real with ourselves about how much our relationships affect our justifications for overeating or eating unhealthy. Its much easier to say YES to something if someone is encouraging you to or your tempted because they are doing it. Its sort of like going out to the bar with your best friend who will be drinking (and maybe doesnt even have a drinking “problem”) when you are staying sober…right? This isnt about anyone being wrong or bad, this is about the reality of how tough it is to make lifelong changes in habits and how our social system affects that MAJORLY.
I know that if I get a craving to go out for ice cream, and I have committed to NOT eat ice cream that day/week, all I have to do is mention it to my husband or kids, and then if he wants to go out, I can somehow justify it in my mind. Crazy, how we trick ourselves, huh?
Almost every time I break a commitment to myself about changing eating habits, its for a social reason.
Accepting and loving ourselves just as we are is the key to true happiness regardless of our shape or size. That’s the first step. Changing our unhealthy habits creates amazing confidence and lifelong health. Its not about how we look, but how we feel.
[Reply]
Chris and Kara Mohr Reply:
May 19th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Fantastic post, Stephanie!!! It is amazing how the influence of others can make any rationalization seem like a fantastic idea, even if it’s not the best food choice at all!
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